When There is No Right Action

Scripture: Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials. But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Numbers 22:21-22a

Observation: Balaam, having been twice summoned by the king Balak, consulted God. God told him not to go the first time, and he didn't. He told him to go this second time, and he does. Yet God ... is angry with him. The angel of the Lord will later state he was prepared to kill Balaam for going to Balak (v33). That said, later Balak is angry at Balaam for not coming the first time, and more urgently (v37).

Balaam can seemingly do nothing right here. Even when he obeys God, God is angry. Even when he comes to the summons, the summoner is angry.

The Lord is just and unchanging, therefore there is an element not reported, and that certainly is Balaam's attitude and intent. The Lord has told Balaam that he can only say what he has been told to say concerning Israel, but Balaam ... didn't really agree to that. He likely is loaded up with all his items for divination - the reason he needs a donkey to transport him perhaps - and thus is actually prepared to curse Israel and collect a fee from Balak. In other words, while his actions align to God, his attitude perhaps does not yet. Meanwhile, while his attitude aligns to Balak's wishes, his original actions did not.

Fortunately for him, Balaam will align to the Lord, not Balak, thanks in part to his talking donkey.

Application: What does it take for me to align both actions and attitude to the Lord? I remain faithful in action to the Lord's guidance in my life, but melancholy and even depressed in my heart and mind. I continue to wonder, question, and hurt.

Certainly this is a lack of faith manifesting as an inability to fully align my attitude and thoughts to the new direction of my life, provided lovingly by the Lord himself. And I'm not going to have a donkey talk to me to get me over this ... no one is talking to me over it. I am again isolated and alone in this part of my journey.

I must not be like Israel, complaining at every turn while God himself is actively blessing them in every way. I must not be like Balaam, consulting with God and following basic directions while figuring out how I can profit and advance myself. I must just surrender. Certainly in doing so I will experience God's full love and receive the joy I actually seek. I must align my actions and attitude to the Lord alone.

Prayer: Lord, I am a weak and prideful human. I do accept humility, and know that all of this is truly for my good and in alignment to your purpose for my life. I strive to surrender align my thoughts and my heart to your guidance. Amen.