Observation: Jacob has arrived in his ancestral homeland, been welcomed by his uncle Laban, and tells him "all that had happened". Immediately, Laban declares that Jacob is his "own flesh and blood," and concocts a plan to trick Jacob into working for him by promising him a wife, then giving the wrong daughter in marriage, and thus locking down Jacob's free labor for at least 14 years.
Thinking about this first meeting between them, if Jacob really told Laban ALL that had happened, it would have included how he tricked and cheated his own brother out of his birthright and family blessing. With such a revelation, Laban absolutely acknowledges that he and his nephew share the same nature for deception and manipulation. However, this revelation also frees up his own conscious. Seeing that Jacob is a man willing to cheat and lie and manipulate others creates an "all's fair" scenario, allowing Laban to cheat and lie and manipulate Jacob. In so doing, Jacob then will cheat and lie and manipulate to make himself rich at Laban's expense ... and it all goes round and round.
Application: Any reading of the relationship between Jacob and Laban leads to the same conclusion, that they were cruel to each other. However, both could claim a higher ground, effectively stating their cruelty was as a response to the others' behavior, even beginning with the idea that Laban knew of Jacob's past transgressions against Esau.
All of us are treated poorly by others, and all of us know people who are just downright cruel to others. And all of us get to decide how to respond to such people. I admit I have responded with cruelty to such people before, and I have done so knowing they are just a bad person therefore if I treat them badly 'they had it coming'. Yes, I know this creates a cycle, and yes, I know that just being part of such a cycle is bad for my life, or I should say ... now I know that.
This is a big part of the mission Jesus has given all of his disciples ... to be the people who are different from others because we will step out of that cycle, simply absorb the cruelty of others, and not repay it. Jacob's life got better when he did that (but he had to wrestle with God and receive a permanent physical injury to make it sink in). My life is better when I refuse to engage in this cycle of behavior, and I know it.
Prayer: Lord, your lessons are so good. Thank you for your wisdom, even when they are so simple to understand, like turning the other cheek, yet difficult to do. The difficulty is caused by our earthly pride, so I release such pride and accept the wise council to stay out of cycles of cruelty. Amen.
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