Not Deserving Faithful Love

Scripture:
I know, Lord, that your judgments are just
and that you have afflicted me fairly.
May your faithful love comfort me
as you promised your servant.
May your compassion come to me
so that I may live,
for your instruction is my delight.
Psalm 119:75-77

Observation: As the psalmist continues to write, this section - "Yod" - focuses on the balance of a faithful life. The faithful seeks the Lord's compassion, desires the Lord's instruction, and hopes for the Lord's loving comfort, all for a delightful life. However, they do fail, and receive judgment and correction and affliction. These are fair and just, and may also be received as comfort as they teach and instruct.

Application: I am so distraught by my actions and thoughts, a quagmire of sin and anger, rooted in my dark and prideful and corrupt core. Even as I desire to be a good and faithful servant, following the Lord's instruction, my mind turns from the Lord over and over and over, all day long, with my thoughts and actions taken away from the Lord. In this, not only are the Lord's judgments and afflictions that have been brought upon me just and fair, I struggle to even look up out of the ash heap of my mind and dare for hope and compassion.

I do not deserve any of the faithful love of God.

Here I sit today, blessed without reason, cared for beyond measure, while I fail and fail and fail again to follow the Lord's instruction. I desire the Lord's comfort and compassion. May his instruction and precepts and word truly become my delight, and not my own dark and prideful mind.

Prayer: Lord, I am unworthy of your love and forgiveness, yet that is all I can ask for today. Please, Lord, forgive me for my sins. I struggle to overcome my thoughts, and I know the enemy takes advantage of that. Your corrections and afflictions are indeed just. This day, and all my days, may I pursue your word and your instruction. Again, please forgive me in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and savior, and may your hope and love restore my mind and renew my heart to seek your purposes. Amen.