Mistakes to Obey vs. Decisions to Disobey

Scripture: As Samuel came close, Saul called out, “God’s blessings on you! I accomplished God’s plan to the letter!” Samuel said, “So what’s this I’m hearing—this bleating of sheep, this mooing of cattle?” “Only some Amalekite loot,” said Saul. “The soldiers saved back a few of the choice cattle and sheep to offer up in sacrifice to God. But everything else we destroyed under the holy ban.” 1 Samuel 15:13-15

Observation: Throughout this series of events, Saul acts of his own accord, of his own mind, and the worst part is that he honestly and sincerely doesn't even see that he is doing it. In this one section, he declares that he has 100 percent carried out God's instructions "to the letter", despite the fact he himself is actively disobeying those instructions while he is saying this. He was told to kill everything and take no loot, yet as he declares success he is creating a monument out of the loot he took, and preparing a feast for the army from the loot.

But ... you know ... except for the ways in which Saul didn't obey the Lord, he obeyed the Lord in "everything else".

Application: Everyone, myself included, picks and chooses the way we obey the Lord. I call myself a believer, but then I decide that it's okay to be angry about past hurts, or to take longer looks at attractive women, or to tell a little lie to avoid difficult conversations. But ... you know ... I tithe fully, I worship well, I show up and serve for outreach, I try to help and comfort others who mourn, I place faith for my daily bread in the Lord. So clearly, every day I accomplish God's plan to the letter!

No, I don't.

God lamented making Saul king because he wouldn't fully obey instructions, so it's no wonder I have no significant calling within the Church. I make decisions on my own to act outside of God's instructions, and decide it's okay because doing 'most' things - and the 'important' things - we are instructed to do. I am unworthy of any important call, and knowing that does sadden and convict me.

I want to make better decisions, and to strive toward 100 percent compliance with the Lord's instructions. I know I will make mistakes, but mistakes in obeying are far different than decisions to disobey.

Prayer: Lord, please keep trimming and softening my heart, teaching me to obey you. I have time left to be better, and I so very, very much want to be more worthy of your love. I know you'll love me anyway, but may I make better choices every day. Amen.