Unworthy and Loved Anyway

Scripture: Jesus went with them. When he was still quite far from the house, the captain sent friends to tell him, "Master, you don’t have to go to all this trouble. I’m not that good a person, you know. I’d be embarrassed for you to come to my house, even embarrassed to come to you in person. Just give the order and my servant will get well." Luke 7:6-7

Observation: A Roman Centurian is hoping Jesus can heal his servant and asks Jesus for this healing. However, before Jesus arrives, he sends a second message that Jesus should not come to his house because ... he is not a good person, and thus unworthy for Jesus to come to him.

The Jews in Capernaum have actually given a different report about the Roman officer, stating he is a good man who has even aided their village. However, the Centurian thinks differently of himself. He knows the issues of his heart. He knows his actions in the past and present. And he has true faith that Jesus is someone special sent from the Lord. In this context, the Roman believes himself to be unworthy to have Jesus enter his house and meet him face to face.

This is a common conflict when it comes to understanding the Lord and Jesus as Messiah. The conflict is that, when we understand the holiness of Jesus and of Yahweh, we also recognize our own unholiness, and how much everything about ourselves - from our past actions, to our daily thoughts - fall short of the mark of 'holy'. In that context, we are ashamed, and likely want to keep God at a distance, lest he become fully convinced of our unworthiness and decide to turn away and reject us.

Application: Of course, I am using the wrong pronoun here ... this isn't a 'we/our' matter, but an 'I/my' matter. I desire nearness to the Lord, and actively seek more and more influence of the Holy Spirit in my daily life, knowing I have placed my faith in Jesus Christ. Then I recognize that I am a total failure as a person, with sinful thoughts, wicked and angry ideas, and a past that no good being could ever accept. And I hope that perhaps the Lord can love me anyway, if he stays far enough away to not look too closely at who I really am and at all my failures.

This is the real good news. Jesus brought me - everyone - salvation, not because we are good or even can be good, but because the Lord simply loves us so much that, in the full knowledge of our once and future evil and failures, he wants to give us good blessings and eternal love anyway.

Am I faithful because I understands both side of this narrative ... that Jesus is Messiah and by that faith and the Lord's love I am saved, yet I am so helplessly evil that I am totally unworthy of that salvation and love, which makes the giving of it by the Lord all the more amazing? I don't know. I am unworthy and loved anyway. This I do know.

Prayer: Lord, yes I know all of this, including the fact that I am so ashamed of who I am that I am embarrassed for you to ever come close to me. But I need you, and I need the Holy Spirit's strength, to have any hope of ever straightening out my many flaws. Please heal my wicked soul. Amen.