Confusing Success and Failure

Scripture: The men of Judah fought against Jerusalem, captured it, put it to the sword, and set the city on fire ... At the same time the Benjaminites did not drive out the Jebusites who were living in Jerusalem. The Jebusites have lived among the Benjaminites in Jerusalem to this day. Judges 1:8,21

Observation: The first references to Jerusalem are ... confusing. For some reason, the tribe of Judah attacks Jerusalem successfully, even though it isn't part of their territory. However, the tribe of Benjamin also fails to take Jerusalem, yet still does live in it.

At best, this is ... confusing. Why would Judah 'take' a city not in their claim? How can they destroy the city - "set the city on fire" - then Benjamin moves in? How can the kill - "put it to the sword" - the Jebusites, and have them still living there? How can the first action of Judah be officially declared a success, and then the immediately in the same place Benjamin is declared to have failed? It seems every component of these two verses is in conflict.

However, this may be more revelation about the true "conquering" of the land. The point of taking of promised land was not a massacre of hundreds of thousands of people. Rather, it was the utter destruction of the belief systems of Canaanite people-groups, and driving them out of the land so it would be populated by only Israel, worshiping only Yahweh. What Judah put to the sword was the pagan idols of the Jebusites. What Judah burned was he wooden images and shrines that housed them. What Benjamin then needed to do was to enforce that change, driving the Jebusites to depart the land and go to worship their gods in a new and different place.

Again, it is impossible to burn a city, kill everyone in it and then ... have those same people still living in that same city. This didn't happen. Judah killed and burned the Jebusite gods. Benjamin allowed the Jebusites to rebuild and continue their practices.

Application: I have a problem in my life of thinking about my past in a favorable light. I was angry, sinful, and sometimes even hate-filled in my past. How could I ever think any of that was desirable? The answer is that ... I killed it and burned it down, but failed to evict it from my heart and mind.

This is the thorn that remains in my side, as the Lord even points out to Israel in Judges 2:3 today. This is something that holds me back from fully receiving the Lord's promise of the full power of the Holy Spirit.

I want to evict my former self. I don't just want to be a believer in Jesus Christ striving to do the will of the Lord every day ... I want to completely forget my past life, casting it aside without any fondness. I want it to effectively go away, and never again be part of any thought process.

Prayer: Lord, I desire more of you Holy Spirit, and I feel caught in a cycle I cannot figure out on my own. I need your Spirit to overcome my thoughts about the past, but I feel my thoughts about the past prevent your Spirit from giving me more of you. Please fill me so my joy may be in you alone, and in the things and promises that are of you. Amen.