A Matter of Trust

Scripture:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
    and He will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Observation: This is the challenge I struggle with, fully articulated ... trust. I have been calling it faith and hope, but it comes down to this proverb. I am to trust Yahweh, not desiring my own understanding of the situation and the world, and if I acknowledge his sovereign control, he will take care of the situation.

Application: I wish it were that simple right now.

I know in my heart that as I am expressing a lack of trust ... it doesn't make any sense. I do trust. I do have faith. I do hope. Yet I worry and fret and despair. Certainly these actions are not improving anything, and they are a detriment to myself.

I am certainly not observing this wisdom. Just this week, I have said I doubt. I have said I would like to understand. I have said I would like to better know the direction in which God is guiding the lives of my children. And the wisdom of God responds ... trust God, not your own understanding, and the very creator of the universe will himself take care of the future of your family.

I see an order here - I must first trust. But that isn't true, for that understanding ignores the step about God's love. The very first proverb is that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge. That phrase - fear of the Lord - is a poor interpretation of the intended language. It is really about honor and respect, born from a relationship, and that relationship began with God's love for ... me. He acted first. He loves, then I honor, then he shows mercy, then I submit, then he instructs, then I obey, then he guides, then I walk with him.

And this is what I have been hearing for months. This challenge may be the way into another level of relationship with God - a way to take his hand and walk humbly with my Lord and father.

I will redouble my efforts to trust. I will get out of my own head and my own understanding, and acknowledge that God has the situation under control, for his purposes, by his plan, and that plan is for good and for hope and a future for my children.

Prayer: Lord, my children are in your hands, and not just of my doing. You know they have chosen you. I trust in your love for certain. I will try to ignore my own understanding of how to construct a future for them, and I leave it all to you. Amen.