Act Without Fear, or In the Midst of Fear?

Scripture:  So I went to the angel and asked him to give me the little scroll. He said to me, “Take it and eat it. It will turn your stomach sour, but ‘in your mouth it will be as sweet as honey.’

Observation: John is instructed to go and continue to prophesy after taking the scroll. The scroll has both a very pleasant, and a very unpleasant impact on him - he enjoys the flavor, but it make his stomach upset. This is how the word of God can affect people - it can be pleasing, or it can cause them angst, and sometimes it does both at the same time.

Application: I am afraid.

Every time I get a glimpse of God and what he may want me to do in my life, I am so, so afraid. Yet at the same time, I logically know that every time I have obeyed God and done what he has asked of me, the results have ben so very, very sweet! My times of obedience have brought me the very best parts of my life - my wife and children - and all the earthly comforts with which he has blessed me. Being afraid of God's direction makes no logical sense at all, because not only is his will to care for me, but he has proven over and over again that he loves me and wishes to bless me.

But when it get even a small hint of what God might ask of me, I am still afraid. I resist, and I mutter that I shouldn't be afraid ... then I do not act while I seek justification for not listening. I worry about the cost. What if this action would cost me my family? What if it costs me my house? Or a friend? Or my job? Or next summer's vacation? Or what if it just makes me uncomfortable?
 
At this time, I do believe I an doing what God has asked of me: I am working in a spiritual desert, with almost no daily support or certainly no personal satisfaction, to enable the great work that my wife can accomplish without needing to worry about sustenance. But when I get a hint of what might come next, my stomach turns.

I am comforted slightly with the knowledge that fear is normal. Moses, Joshua, David, Mary, Peter ... they were specifically afraid to obey God, and I am certainly not in their league by any stretch. What bothers me is I KNOW the results will be sweet, even if my stomach churns with worry and fear. I need to be able to obey and act, even in the midst of the fear.

Prayer: Thank you so much, Lord, for the times you have given me guidance and rewarded me for faithfulness. I hear you when you tell me "do not be afraid", and I pray for the faith to obey in the midst of that fear.