I Put Myself to Shame

Scripture:
Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!
Then I would not be put to shame
when I consider all your commands.
Psalm 119:5-6

Observation: This section of the psalm - Aleph - is about being obedient to the law, how doing so brings joy and blessing, and not doing so brings shame. This is about as straightforward and obvious as instructions get. We are to live a life in obedience to the precepts and commands of the Lord. When we do so and are blameless in this regard, we are blessed. However, even those that try fall short and feel shame when they consider their failure.

Application: I feel shame every day. I do things that are wrong, know it, and feel like I am a shameful, lesser person.

Consider that cycle! I know the right things to do, and I want to not only have a blessed life and receive the Lord's blessing and favor, but also to just feel good about myself. So what do I do? I sin ... lie, lust, swear, laziness ... and then feel bad about it, criticize myself, think upon myself with shame and disgrace and even anger and hate, and worry that my life will fall apart as the Lord removes his blessing and his spirit from my life. I mean, my life would be better if I just didn't do stuff I'm not supposed to. How easy should it be to NOT do something?!

I do this to myself. I put myself to shame as I consider the Lord's commands and know that I fall far short of obeying those decrees.

Prayer: Lord, again I ask for your strength today. I know what I should do, how I should work, how I should spend my time. I desire to meditate on your word, and not on other thoughts. Please, Lord, give me your strength and your spirit, and aid me in obeying your decrees and precepts every moment of every day. Amen.