Observation: The angel Gabriel - the divine appointed messenger of the Lord - goes to Mary, and greets her. He calls her "favored" and declares that the Lord himself is with her. Mary's response to this is ... worry and concern. She is "troubled" by these statements and confused about what "kind" of a greeting this is.
Mary is a woman of faith. She would not have been chosen for her role if she was not. She believes in the Lord, is honorable in her compliance to the law, and is proven responsive to his commands in her life. However, even she is skeptical of an angel arriving in the name of Yahweh and telling her she is "favored" and that the Lord is with her. It would seem that kind words and declarations of honor from the Lord's own messenger are difficult to trust. Even Mary, a woman of such great virtue and faith that she is the singular individual throughout all human history worthy to be the mother of the Messiah, struggles to receive kindness from the Lord.
Application: If Mary - one of the most faithful people of all time - was troubled when told that the Lord favored her, imagine how problematic is can be for those who doubt God even exists to make the leap to understand God loves them.
God's love for all humans is one of those core components of faith, a non-negotiable. However, like other non-negotiables, the degree and scope and conditions can get debated, and in this case those secondary topics could be tied to the fact that it is simply hard to get our heads around unconditional love from a being that hates sin. The more we believe in the Lord, the more we understand our own depravity. Meanwhile, those who don't know God - maybe even doubt he really exists - don't care so much about sin, but also don't care so much about his love. I have a feeling that the charting "how much do I believe God loves me" and "how much do I know I don't deserve God's love" scale pretty similarly, and that anywhere along that chart, the difficulty of processing and receiving the Lord's love is the same.
I do believe I am loved, but I also know I am unworthy of that love. I see the Lord's blessings and love and joy all around me every day, but I am also confident that if Gabriel showed up here and greeted me in a respectful manner, I would be much more than 'troubled'. At my core, I know the Lord is with me because his very nature is love, but at the center of that core I know I don't deserve him to be, and perhaps that he regrets loving me because I am so ... problematic.
It is difficult to receive God's love. Blessed are those who know his love, and accept it joyfully.
Prayer: Abba, my daddy in heaven, thank you for your love. Yes, I understand I am not worthy of your love, but I guess that doesn't disqualify me from being favored by your love and joy every day. May I find ways to pay that love forward to others today. Amen.
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