Relationships in Context

Scripture: Rachel died and was buried on the road to Ephrath, that is, Bethlehem. Jacob set up a pillar to mark her grave. It is still there today, “Rachel’s Grave Stone.” Israel kept on his way and set up camp at Migdal Eder. While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went and slept with his father’s concubine, Bilhah. And Israel heard of what he did. Genesis 35:19-22

Observation: As almost an afterthought - the briefest of statements - Reuben has sex with Bilhah. As the firstborn of Jacob, this will cost him his birthright and he will forever be distrusted by Jacob from now on, with many future actions occurring because Reuben wants to make amends.

However, there is an intriguing context to this event. Bilhah was Jacob's concubine because ... she was Rachel's maid, and immediately before this event, Rachel dies. It's as if Bilhah has two relationships to the family. One of these is concubine to Jacob and thus mother of Dan and Naphtali. However, the other is Rachel's maid, and thus the reason she is any of those first things was because Rachel gave her to Jacob.

Upon Rachel's death, it seems Reuben saw her now as just a woman traveling with the family, for she has lost "status". She wasn't part of the family - she wasn't on any lineage from Abraham's family as even his mom Leah and Rachel were - so since her status was connected to Rachel, it was now severed. However, he ignored her other connection, which was as one of the wives of his father and mother to his half-brothers.

Reuben defined Bilhah in an earthly context ... her job was as Rachel's maid, and with the death of Rachel she was now nothing. Jacob defined Bilhah in a more heavenly context ... she was one of the women given to him, out of the generosity of the Lord, to mother part of the foundational sons that would launch their family as a nation.

Application: Everyone I come upon, every day, can be viewed through two contexts. One is their earthly context. I can view them in terms of who they are at work and what project we are collaborating on, or as a stranger at the store considering what milk to buy, etc. Alternatively, I can think of them in a heavenly context. I can view them as a brother struggling to provide for his family, or as a sister who is herself confused about her purpose in life and thus digging deep into meaningless activity.

Reuben teaches me - all of us - that when we view someone within just some earthly construct, we devalue them to the point of using them, and the outcome of that is harm to ourselves. When we view someone as our father sees them, that changes the context of our relationship with them.

Prayer: Lord, I do want to see others with your eyes. There are many in this world who see themselves even within only some earthly construct. May I stop accepting that. May I view them as your sons and daughters, my brothers and sisters, even if they don't know or even reject that context. And may I act toward them accordingly. Amen.