Thoughts About Trusting Others

Scripture:
Many a person proclaims his own loyalty,
but who can find a trustworthy person?
Proverbs 20:6

Observation: In this section of Proverbs, Solomon provides a collection of one-sentence insights. Some have more of a philosophical tone instead of pure advice, and may describe situations that involve the application of wisdom as much as they actually tell someone what is wise and good.

Verse 6 is a bit like that. It does not advise the listener to seek out trustworthy people, nor does it provide a definition of behaviors that would describe a trustworthy person. It does, however, indicate that there is a difference between a trustworthy person, and a person who SAYS they are loyal and thus trustworthy. The implication is that it requires discernment of character - supported by behavior - to decide whom one should trust, instead of just words.

Application: I have been thinking lately about my best friend growing up. He is a person I sat next to the first day of kindergarten, and was my best friend through high school. In the last 35 years, we have maybe spoken twice, once at his father's memorial service ... and I can't really think of a second time, though I expect there must have been one. About every 18 months he sends me a message via email or social media to say 'hey' and offer to meet for lunch or a beer, and I actually never even respond.

My wife and I have been hurt by so many people over the years that we have no idea who to trust with anything. We know many people who have said they are friends - or at least 'loyal' - and proved not to be. Sometimes the hurt and betrayal is just how they slip up with information that hurts us, and sometimes it is an intentional act to harm us. It can be hard to know the difference. We have been hurt by such people, once or twice in major ways, but mostly in one of those 'death by a thousand little cuts' types of ways.  Even yesterday, this concept came up again with one of her coworkers, with my wife feeling put down and undermined, maybe even threatened, and with us having the exact conversation that the person should not be trusted.

The result is that we collectively trust almost nobody. We have one pair of friends, our children, and outside of that ... it's really nobody.

Who can find a trustworthy person? Indeed.

Well, the Lord can help us with such discernment. I don't think he wants us to feel so isolated, though maybe that has been best for this long season in our lives. I don't know, and I wouldn't know how to even figure out how to trust someone who proclaims they can be trusted, but the Lord knows. If he desires us to be open again, may he show us.

Prayer: Lord, you and perhaps you alone know the challenges and issues of our lives. May we seek your wisdom and direction when it comes to friendships and work relationships. Please protect us from those that would do us harm, and perhaps bring into our lives those who would not do so. Amen.