Observation: During the parable of the three servants who receive talents, these are the first words out of the third servant's mouth. He has buried the one talent he received in the ground, and thus safely returns the Master's money to him. He failed to earn even basic interest on it, let alone risk the money in order to make a better return. He acted this way out of fear, stating "I know you" to the Master, and declaring him harsh, clearly shrewd and opportunistic. Therefore, fearing failure, he took no meaningful action at all.
By evidence that this servant received the fewest talents, it is clear he didn't really "know" the Master. He likely knew him least of all, perhaps by passing observation and thus some limited perception. The Master knew him well enough to be suspect of his ability, and thus gave him a minimal responsibility. However, the servant knew the Master so poorly that he saw this not as a responsibility, but as a burden - a hardship designed to test him - and he proceeded to live out of fear over it.
Application: There was a time when this was the God I feared. I thought he could be a harsh tyrant, quick to punish out of anger over my failure, judging me on criteria I probably couldn't understand and certainly couldn't achieve anyway. As a God who could do everything, yet tested us to see if we could do anything, he was certainly illogical and unfair. Eventually, I chose to wish he would be ambivalent, uncaring, and passive, and that whether or not he even existed was unimportant since pleasing him was impossible anyway. I am so delighted I was wrong, and instead discovered how much my father loves me.
Yet there are so many who believe they "know" this wrong version of God. They "know" an almighty ... tyrant. They "know" a version of God who gives mankind hardship, tests that are rigged for their failure, and they then function out of fear to avoid wrath and punishment, or at the very least to try to win a future they aren't sure they can earn anyway.
Is this the God Patty knows? She spent two years living in daily fear because she allowed herself to absorb the brunt of a hardship, and it changed her attitude toward God. She used to declare all these things she knew about God, and now she doubts every attribute about him. Is she now afraid of God? Has her former "knowledge" of God as the creator, and her new deep fear of the created, made her afraid of God, and thus desire to move far from him?
Prayer: Abba, my daddy in heaven, I know that in all our greatness, your grandest and greatest quality is love. How could I ever fear you now?! Please show your love again to my friend. We are saddened by what has happened in the world for certain, yet like Job there is no need for explanation, only trust that you command and control everything. If there are ways we can help our friends no longer fear you, Lord, please show us what to do in your name. Amen.
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