On Managing Conflict

Scripture: In fact, to have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? 1 Corinthians 6:7

Observation: As Paul continues the address the issues he has heard about the church at Corinth, he comes to the matter of legal conflict between Christians. At first he challenges the issue of suing each other in a worldly court instead of resolving the matter between wise church leaders. However, he then gets to the heart of the matter ... why at all do they have conflicts so severe they rise to the level of suits? Why can't they just forgive and leave in peace?

It is best not to wrong brothers and sisters, but if it happens it is better to just be wronged than to create conflict. In a community of true love, Christians wouldn't wrong one another, but of course we are all human so when we do something, treat it as a forgivable mistake and move on. Initiating angry actions is an unworthy practice, and taking the matter external to a worldly system of judgment is worse.

Application: I have an old friend who has reached out to me many times to just say hi. I have never responded. That has nothing to do with that friend, and everything to do with how my wife and I have withdrawn from ... well, the world. We have done this not as a mutually planned attempt at isolation, but out of pain from attacks from others. We strive to 'decrease our attack surface' as it were, by limiting interactions.

That probably isn't good, but it is a learned behavior caused by conflict initiated by others. Some have been against my wife within the church. We can delve into the validity and authenticity of all such attacks, and certainly discuss the enemy as the source of them, and in that context we understand that the attackers were operating by an evil influence and are certainly forgiven for being deceived. But they still hurt.

My wife and I have never attacked back. We defend ourselves, but do not initiate counteraction. We understand that doing so can only ultimately cause Christ himself to be considered in a lesser light, as the world would assess our actions in his context. I hope our pain in this is acknowledged by Christ, because ... it does hurt. It hurts to the point of losing touch with other friends to limit and manage all interactions, and thus reduce the numbers of individuals we know who may try to attack us in the future.

Prayer: Lord, I do know that we do the right thing when we do not respond with worldly actions and aggression when morally and verbally attacked, be it by secular to believing people here on earth. I hope we have done right in your eyes in these matters. May your love guide us daily in our interactions with others. Amen.