Totally Inexplicable Forgiveness

Scripture:
He does not deal with us according to our sins
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far he removes our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:10-12

Observation: This psalm discusses all of the benefits of the Lord. The Lord ... forgives our mistakes, heals our bodies, lifts us from despair, renews our strength, crowns us with his love, vindicates wrong done to us, gives justice to the oppressed, teaches us his ways, shows mercy toward us, lifts his anger away from us. And most of all, the Lord does not deal with us according to what we have done, but rather he deals with us out of his great and amazing love.

Application: I deserve nothing at all from the Lord. I have so disobeyed him over the years, and continue to do so every day, that he should at best completely walk away from me and ignore me. If the Lord, oppressed, tortured, and killed me, it would be justified. However - and this is the fact I just cannot get over in my life - not only does he not do that, but he does the OPPOSITE. Out of the Lord's great love, he gives me love and blessing and family and hope and joy and peace.

I sincerely do not understand why God does this for me or anyone else ... but yes, especially for me. I struggle with just about everything he has told us should be done on earth. And still his love removes my transgressions, as far as the east is from the west.

Prayer: Lord, your forgiveness of me is inexplicable. It is impossible for me to say I have earned your love, or forgiveness, or second chances. I haven't, and I can't. But I do love you, and in my heart I so, so, so desire to be better at doing what you have told us to do. May I seek your hand to hold in my walk today, and every day. Amen.

Opportunity and Resistance Together

Scripture: But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries. 1 Corinthians 16:8-9

Observation: As Paul explains his upcoming plans, he states why he is going to stay in Ephesus for some time ... there is opportunity for the gospel, and there is an opposition resisting it. Paul needs to stay because of both. If the work of the church there were easy they wouldn't need Paul, but it is because it is hard and being resisted by some adversarial force that Paul is needed to remain and labor in Ephesus.

Application: We see this all the time in our church ... that good works run into some kind of blocking force. This can be public attitudes, local government interference, and open distrust of all things having to do with Christianity. It is sometimes resistance - even criticism - from believers both at our church and other churches. And it can also be seemingly coincidental personal issues and tragedies for the staff that occur and the worst times.

We have learned that, when we see these kinds of adversarial forces, it means something good is about to happen. I am glad I have seen this, though it can personally hurt when such forces are directed at us. However, I am comforted that Paul recognized the same pattern, which is that effective work and adversarial resistance go together ... even that such resistance is the indicator of the opportunity for Christ.

Prayer: Lord, may your hand be upon the leaders of your church, both Evergreen Church and others throughout the area, nation, and world. The enemy attacks, but your love always wins. Amen.

Everyone Judges Poorly

Scripture:
It is a snare for one to say rashly, “It is holy,”
and begin to reflect only after making a vow.
Proverbs 20:25

Observation: This proverb reflects very straightforward advice aligned directly to "original sin" ... it is wrong for we humans to decide what is right versus wrong, good versus evil. When we quickly say that something is good, right, and even 'holy', we can fall into a trap because we are judging based on our own context and biases and thoughts. Only God can be the judge of what is right. Yes, he can tell us and show us, but rashly or quickly judging for ourselves is a mistake.

Application: I have been more and more reminded of this fact, that original sin was actually mankind's decision to pursue the 'knowledge of good and evil' on our own, instead of trusting the Lord. Last night, I heard of someone radically extending this judgment to modern medicine, openly declaring that all doctors are evil and agents of satan. This is someone who makes judgments about good and evil based on a context that is outside of the Lord's instructions. Maybe their opinion is based on an issue or tragedy in their life, or some other personal context, but it is still their own judgment.

I have influences and experiences that likely bias my thoughts on good and evil. I am sure I wrongly apply that judgment to elements of my life, as that is in fact the nature of humans. However, everyone is a poor judge of good and evil, including myself. I hope I am learning some level of discipline to not rush to a rash judgment of what is good or even holy, and instead reflect on all things in prayer.

Prayer: Lord, do forgive me for the sin of pride, which drives all desire to judge good and evil for myself. May you be the only authority in such matters, and may I learn to discern only your voice when considering such. Amen.

Proper Use of God's Blessings

Scripture: At that time the seer Hanani came to King Asa of Judah and said to him, "Because you relied on the king of Aram and did not rely on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped you." 2 Chronicles 16:7

Observation: Early in the era of the divided kingdom, the northern kingdom begins to fortify against the southern kingdom, and Judah uses the wealth of the temple to create an alliance with Aram and cause the northern kingdom to cease the fortification effort. By allying with this foreign nation, King Asa is told he cannot now eventually defeat Aram, but instead will have war throughout his kingship.

Hanani points out that Asa actually had an implicit choice in how to deal with Israel ... he could use the wealth given to David and Solomon by the Lord and now stored in the Lord's temple treasury, and buy assistance; or he could pray to the Lord the deliverance and wisdom, and then listen to and trust in the Lord's guidance.

Asa chose the former, with long-term ramifications for his entire life. He could have had a kingship marked by peace and prosperity, using God's blessings to provide for his kingdom, and growing closer to the Lord by having trusted in him. Instead, going forward he would be plagued by war, which would consume his attention and resources, and as such would further withdraw personally from his relationship with the Lord to the point of dying by disease without ever turning to the Lord for relief.

Application: God's blessings are to be used to further improve our relationship with the Lord. They show his love, but then we can learn more about him by entrusting him even more and more, knowing that the things in our life are not really "ours" but rather are a trust to guide us to new ways of think, new purpose, new places where the Lord wants us.

My wife and I have been having discussions about our future living conditions. While we absolutely cannot move on from our current house and place in life yet - we have parents and children who both require us to remain here for the present - we do think we will someday move on to new places. I think we are both amazed that we have the resources to make such a transition fairly easy someday. And that very fact should cause me to think ... knowing that God has provided all that we have, our future direction must be determined by him and his direction in our lives, and not by our independent thoughts.

We could come up with a dozen wonderful places to live, and then use our resources to do it. Without the Lord's wisdom in such a decision, that could lead to struggles. Or we could seek the Lord in our decisions, and end up with a peaceful and purposeful life. It seems clear what we should do.

Prayer: Lord, you know that we are several years away from any real decisions about our future. However, that future is meaningless without you, and our decisions will only be made based on your guidance and wisdom and direction. May we be shown both your purpose and your timing for our next adventures. Amen.

Loved by All Creation

Scripture:
My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
in the vineyards of En-gedi.
Song of Songs 1:14

Observation: The author of this love poem uses many references to beautiful places and things. In this stanza alone, (she?) references nard, myrrh, henna, vineyards, and En-gedi. En-gedi is an oasis near the Dead Sea, which today is a natural preserve, park, and world heritage site. It is the site of several deserts springs, waterfalls, clear and beautiful ponds, and caves. It is said to be a place David hid when being hunted by Saul.

Besides this, in the first four chapters, the author references jewels, gold, silver, roses, lilies, frankincense, apple trees, fig trees, pomegranates, raisins, wine, saffron, calamus, cinnamon, mountains, valleys, Kedar, Gilead, Egypt, Amana, Lebanon, Senir, Hermon, horses, sheep, goats, doves, foxes, gazelles, lions, leopards, and the singing of turtledoves.

In a time when all travel was on foot, there was very little written information, and almost no art beyond in-situ drawings and carvings on walls, this person has seen and experienced ... everything and everywhere. They have "been there," "tasted it," "seen them," and "smelled it." From the wastelands of southern Israel, to neighboring lands both north and south, they have first-hand knowledge of everything here, there, and in between.

Or ... the Lord knows well the beauty and pleasures of his creation, and can inspire such writings to appeal to the very awareness he gave us as his wonderous creation to enjoy the world he created.

Application: I am personally aware that ... when I look at nature, I find it wonderful and inspiring ... when I taste fruits and spices and food, I find it exciting and pleasurable ... when I go to different places, I find it enlightening and inspiring. I feel these things because of the very, very obvious purposes of God's love.

God created the world; God created me; God is my loving father ... it is the most logical thing in the universe then that his creation appeals to my every sense and thought and desire.

Prayer: Lord, as I do most days, I thank you for the beauty of the world and all that is in it. Your creation is such powerful evidence of your hand at work, and my enjoyment of creation is powerful evidence of your loving heart. May I glorify you and worship your name today and always. Amen.

Promises, Not Threats

Scripture: But if you turn aside and forsake my statutes and my commandments that I have set before you and go and serve other gods and worship them, then I will pluck you up from the land that I have given you, and this house, which I have consecrated for my name, I will cast out of my sight and will make it a proverb and a byword among all peoples. And regarding this house, now exalted, everyone passing by will be astonished and say, "Why has the Lord done such a thing to this land and to this house?" 2 Chronicles 7:19-21

Observation: The Lord appears to Solomon after the completion of the temple and makes him this promise that Solomon records ... the Lord will continue his covenant with Solomon, but if the people ever forsake the Lord and worship other gods, he will punish them completely. That punishment will include both banishment from the promised land, and total destruction of the temple.

This must have been jarring to Solomon, who just spent 20 years building the temple and experiencing the supernatural events that surrounded its dedication. After all that, the Lord declares he will destroy it all if Israel strays. Solomon surely records this for the purpose of ensuring the people will never stray, knowing the promised consequences.

Of course, they will stray. At Solomon's death, the kingdom will divide and the northern kingdom will immediately build calf idols to worship. Solomon himself will adopt secondary gods by the influence of his wives. And thus, even taking the Lord at his word, the people stray.

Application: These words of the Lord were not a threat, they were a promise. The Lord wasn't just saying "do X and I'll punish you." He was instead saying, "I have blessed you, but if you choose to reject me that blessing and all evidence of it will be removed." This is a promise of relationship. It is evidence of the Lord's justice and mercy - in fact, of his love - that his interaction with us is based on relationship, and if we damage that relationship, he changes how he relates with us.

I am sincerely thankful that Jesus is now part of this relationship, because I cannot alone hold up my end of the relationship. Solomon couldn't do it when that relationship was the very definition of his life's work, and he was explicitly told by God himself what would happen if he failed. I have no hope of being the man the Lord wants me to be. However, I absolutely believe in Jesus Christ as messiah, my Lord and savior, the son of Yahweh the creator of heaven and earth.

This is now the criteria for the relationship, which is good news because it's the only criteria I could ever hope to fully achieve.

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for Jesus. I know I fail to behave as someone who fully loves you, but I do love you and I believe you know that. May your Spirit fill me every day, and set my feet upon your path. I will do wrong things today, but my goal is to walk humbly with you. Amen.

Let's Talk About Sports

Scripture: Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable one. So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air, but I punish my body and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to others I myself should not be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Observation: Writing to a church in a Greek city (Corinth), Paul discusses how he positions the gospel. He has just outlined with them how he will adopt his lifestyle to align to the lives of others - that he "becomes all things to all people" (v22) - so that whom he is does not interfere with the gospel message. At this, he immediately uses the analogy of an athlete as a way of encouraging the Corinthians to no longer sin, but rather to train their bodies, leveraging self-control to instill healthy habits, so they can 'win' the race of salvation.

Application: Throughout the entirety of scripture, there is no evidence I can think of regarding the Jews engaging in any kind of athletic competition. We know that much of what we consider to be practice of athletic competition for entertainment originated with the Greeks, and by ~50 A.D. the Olympics games included various forms of racing, fighting, and field/skill competitions.

And it is after telling the church how he adopts his personal practices to best relate to his audience that Paul immediately does so; a Jew using Olympic competition analogies to tell Greeks how to behave. They are to win the race ... they are pursuing a prize that is greater than a perishable wreath ... they are not just air boxing but truly in event ... they must exercise intentionally and with self-control ... it is not aimless work ... and proceed by the rules so you are not disqualified. This is a masterclass of speaking to the audience using the metaphor they can culturally understand.

I am SO tired of church people judging my church for the way we reach the unchurched of our community. We hold family food truck nights, show a Christmas light show, work a city parade ... and Christians think we are being only secular in our activities, question or practices if not our motives, and actively declare that, if we aren't delivering some traditional message we are dishonoring God.

I am proud to belong to a congregation courageous enough to try to be all things to all people, in order to try to save some. As our world becomes less and less familiar with the basics of Christianity, may I and others lean into this teaching from Paul.

Prayer: Lord, while even I sometimes have mixed feelings about evangelism and how we do it, may your word work within me more and more. I know we must balance how we are 'in but not of' the world, but the lost and hurting need a bridge to meet you. May we be better, and more relatable, bridges. Amen.

Retelling a Great Lesson

Scripture: Guard your steps when you go to the house of God; to draw near to listen is better than the sacrifice offered by fools, for they do not know how to keep from doing evil. Ecclesiastes 5:1

Observation: The wise teacher juxtaposes two types of faithful people ... the ones who strive to listen to the Lord and learn what is right, and those who only comply with the laws of sacrifice. Both go to the temple. Both appear righteous. However, the latter does not know or understand the will of the Lord, and thus they commit sin and do evil then take the prescribed actions to absolve their sin. The former learns the will of God and improves their wisdom and path in life.

This is another way of giving one of the most important lessons of the entire bible. Micah explicitly tells of all Israel that the Lord never truly wanted any amount of sacrifice, but rather desired the people to simply seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with the Lord. Jesus quotes scripture and challenges the Pharisees to re-learn what was meant when the Lord said he desired mercy, not sacrifice ... acknowledgement of God, not burnt offerings. Yahweh never wanted ritualistic practices of absolution. Rather, he wanted us to simply love him enough to try to learn from him, draw near him, and show love to others in his name. He may have provided avenues to absolution for when we would fail, but compliance with those instructions was never the goal.

Application: Yes, I sin, and need to both pray for forgiveness, and to find absolution through faith in Jesus Christ. However, I truly desire to instead have a changed heart, to become more empathetic to everyone, to grow in humility, and to (in short) draw near to the Lord and listen to him.

Once a day I probably think about how to be nearer to the Lord. This is not nearly good enough ... it needs to be a continual mindset. Too often, I am neutral at best when it comes to considering the will of the Lord in my thoughts and actions and attitudes.

I would rather approach the Lord with the goal of listening and learning - in love and humility - than to approach him in need of absolution and forgiveness and correction for what I have done. The Lord loves me enough to give that absolution, but my life will never improve while on that cycle.

Prayer: Lord, I sincerely desire to walk humbly with you daily, hourly, and moment by moment. I desire a softened and broken heart. You have blessed me so richly in all aspects of my life, may I use that blessing to bless and serve others in your name. Amen.

On Managing Conflict

Scripture: In fact, to have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? 1 Corinthians 6:7

Observation: As Paul continues the address the issues he has heard about the church at Corinth, he comes to the matter of legal conflict between Christians. At first he challenges the issue of suing each other in a worldly court instead of resolving the matter between wise church leaders. However, he then gets to the heart of the matter ... why at all do they have conflicts so severe they rise to the level of suits? Why can't they just forgive and leave in peace?

It is best not to wrong brothers and sisters, but if it happens it is better to just be wronged than to create conflict. In a community of true love, Christians wouldn't wrong one another, but of course we are all human so when we do something, treat it as a forgivable mistake and move on. Initiating angry actions is an unworthy practice, and taking the matter external to a worldly system of judgment is worse.

Application: I have an old friend who has reached out to me many times to just say hi. I have never responded. That has nothing to do with that friend, and everything to do with how my wife and I have withdrawn from ... well, the world. We have done this not as a mutually planned attempt at isolation, but out of pain from attacks from others. We strive to 'decrease our attack surface' as it were, by limiting interactions.

That probably isn't good, but it is a learned behavior caused by conflict initiated by others. Some have been against my wife within the church. We can delve into the validity and authenticity of all such attacks, and certainly discuss the enemy as the source of them, and in that context we understand that the attackers were operating by an evil influence and are certainly forgiven for being deceived. But they still hurt.

My wife and I have never attacked back. We defend ourselves, but do not initiate counteraction. We understand that doing so can only ultimately cause Christ himself to be considered in a lesser light, as the world would assess our actions in his context. I hope our pain in this is acknowledged by Christ, because ... it does hurt. It hurts to the point of losing touch with other friends to limit and manage all interactions, and thus reduce the numbers of individuals we know who may try to attack us in the future.

Prayer: Lord, I do know that we do the right thing when we do not respond with worldly actions and aggression when morally and verbally attacked, be it by secular to believing people here on earth. I hope we have done right in your eyes in these matters. May your love guide us daily in our interactions with others. Amen.

Receiving Impossible Instructions

Scripture: “All this, in writing at the Lord’s direction, he made clear to me—the plan of all the works.” 1 Chronicles 28:19

Observation: As David prepares for the succession of Solomon, he announces the building of the temple and gives Solomon full instructions for the temple. It includes blueprints for the construction itself, plus detailed instructions about lampstands, pillars, and other gold, silver, and bronze ornamentation. There is only really one unstated problem with the plans ... they are impossible.

At that time, in the history of the world, no enclosed building of such size has ever been built. Israel not only doesn't have the materials on hand, it lacks the sources of such resources necessary to do it. David gives his treasury, but all Israel does not have the wood the metals needed to do this.

Basically, David gives to Solomon a plan for a building which is beyond the known engineering of the time to build, and which will require a series of future events to transpire in just the right way that will even provide the hardwoods, stone, gold, and bronze needed to fulfill the design. And guess what ... the events transpire, the engineering works, and a temple is created that will overwhelm foreign visitors for generations to come.

Application: I am reminded again today that God does not give us a bunch of raw materials and resources, and then give us instruction about what to do with them. Instead, he gives us instructions about what we are to do, and once we step into those instructions he provides us with the materials and abilities to do it.

I have seen others understand and behave this way, and it weighs on my sensibilities of organization. It always seems reckless. However, it is actually faithful. Sometimes I feel like I am on the verge of such instructions, but I don't get them. Perhaps I am not ready in my faith to make such leaps.

Prayer: Lord, I do not know what the future holds or how to serve you best. When your instructions come, may I recognize your voice and spirit, and have the faith to obey, even though I know I will not yet have the ability or resources to succeed. Amen.

Stewards of God's Mysteries

Scripture: Think of us in this way: as servants of Christ and stewards of God’s mysteries. 1 Corinthians 4:1

Observation: Paul is leaning into one issue in the church at Corinth, specifically their division over which teachers they prefer. Some prefer Paul, some (most?) prefer Apollos, and now they have young Timothy with them too. In supporting one, they often speak ill of the others, and the result has been some mean rumors and lies told about Paul. In this section, he is dealing kindly with this topic, and introduces this idea as a baseline for thinking about all apostles ... they are "servants of Christ and stewards of God’s mysteries". 

That is an interesting thought to be applied to all church leaders, especially senior pastors. They are first and foremost two things ... servants who are following the express direction of Jesus Christ, and confidants of the Lord who have been entrusted special information. Now to be clear, if they do not meet this criteria, perhaps there is cause to worry about their proper position and service to the Lord. But to the extent they do align with this description, there is a level of honor and trust to be extended to them. Both of these attributes - servant to Messiah and confidant of Yahweh - imply that their actions and decisions should at the very least not be hastily judged but others.

Application: As someone privy to information about church workings and leadership decisions, I am far too quick to judge some decisions. I have opinions about my pastor that are mostly good ... but I know his weaknesses as well. The result is that, when I see an action that seems born from those weaknesses, I make hasty decisions about such actions.

However, I do know that my pastor has a gift of prophesy, and I have seen how this has played out in service to the Lord and the evangelism of the good news of Jesus. In most cases, there is a good chance the Lord has revealed a mystery to our pastor, or maybe even the Lord still withholds the mystery but has given direction that will later prove important and aligned to God's plans.

When I judge my pastor, I am acting like the church at Corinth. That may be common, but it is also quite bad and can only lead to bad things. I would never follow any human blindly - every human errs - but I need to be slower to judge, and quicker to pray about how I may consider church actions and their alignment to the Lord's purposes and plans. 

Prayer: Lord, please forgive my judgment of all others, especially my judgment of the saints, teachers, and apostles of Jesus. I recognize that similar earthly and unwarranted judgments have affected and hurt me, so I should have learned how you dislike such judgmental hearts. I know people around me who are stewards of your own mysteries, entrusted to hear your directions. I am likely jealous of that, so please forgive my covetousness as well. May I simply serve you in humility, today and every day. Amen.

Assuming Evil Intent

Scripture: David said, “I will deal loyally with Hanun son of Nahash, for his father dealt loyally with me.” So David sent messengers to console him concerning his father. When David’s servants came to Hanun in the land of the Ammonites to console him, the officials of the Ammonites said to Hanun, “Do you think, because David has sent consolers to you, that he is honoring your father? Have not his servants come to you to search and to overthrow and to spy out the land?” So Hanun seized David’s servants, shaved them, cut off their garments in the middle at their waists, and sent them away. 1 Chronicles 19:2-4

Observation: The war that makes both the Ammonites and the Arameans subject to Israel is caused because Hanun and his advisors assumed evil intent from David. The evidence for such an assumption is unclear, as the history between the Ammonites and Israelites - and David and Nahash - is a bit mixed, however it is clearly not based in reality as David's intent was in fact to recognize and honor Hanun.

That said, the emotional cause for such an assumption is obvious ... it is fear. The Ammonites knew of Israel's strength under David, and assumed evil intent because they feared his future attack. When they offended him, they immediately hired mercenary assistance fearing David's retribution. They then went out to battle, and in response David defeated them. By being fearful - and acting on that fear - what Hanun and his advisors feared manifested.

Application: I just read a statement yesterday that the cause of all anger is fear. I have seen fearful people act in ways that are completely and totally illogical. We are just now finishing a time in human history where massive numbers of people have lived in fear, and their actions resulting from that fear - not the thing feared but their fear-filled actions - have caused ... mental health issues, personal financial hardship, social violence, widespread isolation, breakdowns in education for youth, and a global economic crisis.

How often is the root cause of conflict just ... fear? So often, of course, that it is the most addressed emotion throughout the bible, as the Lord tells us not to be afraid; to the point, not to react to situations we are experiencing, especially those that involve the actions of the Lord himself, with fear. And since the Lord is in the midst of every situation, and in control of all things, that would apply to everything.

I feel confident I do not act often motivated by fear. However, I do know that I have begun to assume evil intent by most people around me. This causes me to react to them in a manner that may best be described as self-preserving. The lesson from Hanun is that such assumptions and reactions represents fear. For me, that is a fear of again being lied about, professionally attacked, and placed at risk to care for my family.

Then again, most people around me are not David. They are not people who love God, obey moral law, and desire peace. They are people who love money, pursue professional advancement, and desire social recognition. Their framework is not biblical teaching founded in God's love, but it is earthly definitions of success and justice founded by the lies of satan. And they fear falling short of those definitions.

Can I cease the cycle of NOT assuming evil intent, and then not being hurt and attacked by those to whom I offer trust? Possibly not. However, I can reject the fear of such attacks, and thus surrender my life to the protection of the Lord.

Prayer: Lord, may I not be afraid, even of those who likely mean me harm. I know they still exist, I know they still attack, and I know they will find earthly success by such actions. I desire not to fear these outcomes, for I absolutely know you are with me. Amen.

God's Will, General and Specific

Scripture: Nathan said to David, "Do all that you have in mind, for God is with you." 1 Chronicles 17:2

Observation: When David has the idea to build a temple for the Lord and to house the ark, Nathan the prophet ultimately gives David two answers. When David first tells Nathan the idea, Nathan accurately tells David that God is with him. However, Nathan then receives a message that David must not build a temple, but rather that responsibility will fall to his son.

Nathan was not inaccurate or misaligned with the Lord in his first answer ... God was with David. However, God has a specific plan and timing and purpose for the temple, which was to also represent his continued covenant with David's line, a line that would include the ultimate king of the entire world, Jesus. The Lord was making clear that he was not JUST 'with' David, but was now entering a covenant in which he was with a royal line that had a massive final objective - the salvation of all mankind.

So again, Nathan was not inaccurate in his prophetic gift. God was with David, but also David was not to proceed. God's subsequent words and actions even re-enforce that he is generally with David in all matters, however God also has specific instructions that are explicit to what actions David must do, and what he therefore must leave for others to do.

Application: For all of us, God has both a general love and desire for our lives, but also has prescribed directions and missions and plans for us to fulfill. I am more and more concerned that ... I don't fully understand either part of God's will and purpose for my life.

Generally, I know he loves me and wants me to peacefully lead my family, and to do so in this region of the country. Specifically, I know he has placed me in a particular job for now. However, for the most part these are secular structures of my life, and I do not have any idea on the general ways I can participate in the Kingdom of God, nor the specific missions he may have for me to do.

Do I not know these things because I don't listen? Or because he hasn't yet told me? Or because I'm not worthy to even have anything meaningful to do?

Prayer: Lord, you know that this issue of my work and purpose is weighing on my heart recently. I seek your direction. I will continue to seek your will and purpose for both my life in general, and for my specific daily walk with you. Amen.

In a World That's Breaking

I'm gonna stand.

They can call me a fool.

I'm not ashamed, I've considered the cost.

I'll stay right here at the foot of the cross.

Guidance by Unanswered Prayer

Scripture: I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in earnest prayer to God on my behalf, that I may be rescued from the unbelievers in Judea and that my ministry to Jerusalem may be acceptable to the saints. Romans 15:30-31

Observation: Paul has outlined his plans to the Romans; He is delivering an offering to Jerusalem, then will make way for Spain but first stopping in Rome. While this plan is firm, Paul asks for one personal prayer, that the Romans pray for his "rescue from the unbelievers in Judea."

This prayer ... will not be answered. Paul will be arrested, tried at least three times, and finally sent to Rome as a prisoner where he will eventually be executed. While there may be debate about what did or did not happen to Paul between his arrival in Rome and his later martyrdom, there is no debate that he was not rescued from the unbelieving Jews.

However, it is by this special connection that Paul and later Peter will have with Rome that the gospel will truly spread globally. It was by the very existence of a major empire that travel and transport of the story of Jesus was even possible. It was through the broad education of the general populous on a common language that anyone could tell others about Jesus as the Messiah. It was by a broad understanding of religion, but through acceptance of local customs, that people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds could describe Yahweh and his authority, explain his existence as the creator, and outline his plan for salvation of all mankind.

And for all this, Paul needed to go to Rome - to the western part of the empire - and stay there as a person cut off from ever returning to his homeland. This was done.

Application: I am so frustrated when my mind wanders to my 'career' and what I may desire to do as future jobs. This has been happening often lately, and by Paul's example the Lord has shown me the truth.

I once prayed for rescue from persecutors. I was not rescued. Instead, I suffered exactly the wrath they desired to inflict upon me, and was cast out of my career in such a way that I can never return to that profession. There can be no thought of even trying. The Lord's refusal to answer my prayer is actually his guidance and direction for me. My longstanding career is a place to which I can never return. And there a better times ahead of me.

Prayer: Lord, Hallelujah!! Bless your wonderful name, for your steadfast love endures forever. You have shown my your will as an outpouring of your love, and I thank you, my Lord and my God. Hallelujah!! Amen.

Once Again Seeking Purpose

Scripture: We who are strong ought to put up with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us must please our neighbor for the good purpose of building up the neighbor. For Christ did not please himself, but, as it is written, "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." Romans 15:1-3

Observation: As Paul is closing his letter to the Romans, he gives this instruction about believers relating to each other ... that there is a responsibility to simply build up and please each other, even those who are weak in their faith. We are to put up with each other, and even to the point of knowing that insults that fall on us may be handed over to the Lord. Jesus understood that insults directed at him were actually out of a misunderstanding of the Lord, and thus were born from weak faith and not personal animosity.

Application: I find I have returned from vacation in a ... cloud. Once again, I feel lost and directionless in my daily life. I don't see any purpose in what I am doing, except that it funds the pastimes I want to do. there is no eternal objective, and little earthly objective. I cannot find personal fulfillment, but worse is that I cannot conceive what would bring such fulfillment.

Paul teaches that I should bear everything from personal insult to daily burdens in order to please and build up others. Is that my purpose? Am I doing the things I am doing simply to make others feel fulfilled? I indeed know there is an element of truth in that question, for the Lord has shown me that my daily walk should involve giving others the chance to feel better about themselves.

Truly, depression comes when I think life is about what I am doing, only to find emptiness in my current work. My life will be full of insults, scorn, and pointless work. None of that matters next to how I can help others discover the joy of Jesus Christ. Maybe I'll still be a bit depressed by my daily activity, but I can find comfort in the love of God.

Prayer: Lord, Abba, my father in heaven, please hold me in your hands today. I am empty, but for all the wrong reasons. I desire to be filled, so I may then be emptied into your good work. Amen.