God Doesn't Owe Me

Scripture: Now to him who works, wages are not given as a gift, but as a debt. But to him who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness. Romans 4:4-5

Observation: In the "faith vs. works" conversation comes this logical statement from Paul - if salvation came as a result of deeds, then it is not a gift but rather a payment. Earning faith is the equivalent of God owing us a salary for our work. That cannot be a gift, and it does not make sense. Paul uses the example of Abraham, to whom blessing was credited to as faith, as one example. Abraham could not earn any blessing because there was no law, no Jews, no ritual sacrifice. Abraham had faith, and it was credited to him as righteousness.

That is not to say righteousness and blessing is earned in any way. But to the extent that we enter into a relationship with God, it is clearly by faith. And to the extent that we enter into the gift of eternal salvation it is clearly by faith in Jesus Christ.

Application: Faith makes ALL the difference in life. It was interesting last night when the video presenter stated that believing in God is an act of faith ... and believing their is no God is an act of faith.

I have faith in Jesus Christ as Messiah - my lord and savior. However, my faith in God has been wavering lately.

I am sad to see what is happening to Garrett at school, how the institution can systematically deny his goals in a manner manifestly unfair, and I keep waiting for God to act and move him forward. It now seems it won't happen, and I am ... confused.

I am sad to see what I think I am seeing when it comes to Kayla's dance career. I hear her data points about corrections she isn't receiving, that she doesn't execute on an elite level, and I fear what is next because I know what is next. I walked that path. I walked the path of being a peer with those who would be offered scholarships and contracts in the future, while I fell to the wayside and backwaters of the sport because I just wasn't quite 'there'. And I fear that I don't know how God will carry Kayla through those future times ... if he will uplift her professionally to success in dance, or uplift her personally to joy in her post-dance life. And I am ... nervous.

I am ... scared about my abilities at work. I am ... worried about Laurie's stress and health. And in the end I am ... weak in my faith right now. This isn't a faith issue about turning away from God and Jesus, it's a faith issue of wondering why God isn't acting, active, present, engaged, correcting, and rewarding us and our situations. I am doubting his plan. I don't have to understand it ... but I would really, really like to.

Prayer: Lord, you know my heart. Please forgive me weaknesses. I believe in you. At the core, I am sad for my children and the idea that their dreams may pass. Most of me knows you have it all in your hands, and that your ways will be so much better for them and for all of us. Maybe I just wish I understood. I am sorry for my weakness. Amen.